Being a mother to BabyZ fulfills me in ways I never thought possible. And for the longest time after her birth, I was certain that she is all the children I need and had given up on any plans of having another baby. But one day a thought occurred to me that made me change my perspective. It was nothing groundbreaking, just that who are the people who will make up my daughter’s family when we are no more? I hope and pray with all my heart that she meets a wonderful person and has a large, loving family of her own, but can a husband, children, cousins or even best friends substitute siblings? I love my husband more than words can express but honestly, I would be lost without my sisters and brother. So why should I do that to my own daughter? Sure, she will learn to live without siblings if she has to, but I think on my part, I should not deny her the selfless and unadulterated companionship that a sister or brother provide.
The visual idea of having another baby in my home gradually began to grow on me and I loved the mental picture of BabyZ and her little partner getting into all sorts of mischief. But the thing is, I always imagine another little girl in my home. One might think it is because I am a mother to a baby girl and it is easy for me to visualize another daughter or that maybe because I come from a family of five daughters. But I know my truth and that is my firm belief that all girls need sisters. I have four of my own and even though we are in four different countries and are collectively mothers to eight children (because of whom we hardly get to see each other), never a day goes by when I don’t think about each of them. And I can confidently say the same about my sisters. Instead of drifting apart due to distance, responsibilities and life in general, time has brought us even closer and there are so many aspects of our bond and my sisters’ personalities that I have come to love, respect and treasure as we have grown older.
No one can talk ill about one of us in front of another. We are famous for biting the head off of the person who would dare to make this mistake. Of course, we can say anything about each other to each other without worrying about consequences.
We are raised as very strong and spirited women and have always faced the trials and tribulations of life with a lot of strength and courage, but it is surprising how weak we are when one of us is suffering. Our personal lives go on halt for the sister who needs us and even though this might not suit our husbands or kids, we do it anyways.
We believe each other, no matter how fanciful the tale being told is. We trust each other with our biggest secrets and even though some of us are not very good at keeping them, we are all sure that the secret will remain between the five of us. We make excuses for each other’s weird behaviors and traits whenever necessary.
All of us have inherited the hot-tempered gene from our father and we never think twice before displaying it. We have the worst fights and say the meanest things possible, but somehow we forget and forgive each other very easily.
An outside observer once told me that when the five of us are together, we are so engrossed in our own little world of fast talking and inside jokes that other people around us feel ignored or left out. We never intend to do that but yeah, we are known to disregard our crying children too if one of us sisters needs our attention.
We make each other laugh. A lot. Anything can be transformed into a joke when we are together and we can go on laughing irrepressibly and loudly for a very long time. One of us starts laughing in anticipation before a funny story has even started and the others look at her and laugh. There’s a lot of laughing, much to annoyance of our mother.
My sisters are probably my only vanity. They are all accomplished women, well-educated, professionals, mothers, home-makers and extremely beautiful. I am tremendously proud of them and I can go on talking about them to anyone, unabashed for hours at end. Listeners beware.
At times we are each other’s mirror and at other times, each other’s escape from reality. We can tell the most blatant truth when necessary and when need be, tell the lie one of us wants to hear.
Each of my sisters has a special place in my life and I cannot imagine my existence without any one of them. I truly believe that I would not have been how I am without them, they have shaped me into the person that I am and the track that my life is on. One of them is my security blanket and the person I consider my home, when my parents won’t be around. She is also the kindest and most sympathetic person I have ever known. One is the voice of reason in my head and I usually ask myself, “what would she do?”, when I am in a predicament. She also gives the best advice in the world. One is my best friend, my soul mate and always my partner in crime. She knows every single detail of my life, down to what I ate today. One is my baby and if I could, I would keep her under my wings forever. She is also the person I have the most fun with and my designated driver for all excursions and adventures.
My brother, who is the youngest in the family, is the person who I share most similarities with. In spite of all the love I have professed for my sisters above, he is person who really gets me, who I share most of my likes and interests with. He tells the best stories and cracks me up in a way no one can. And the truth is, if I need a good laugh, I will always talk to my brother, but if I need a good cry, I will turn to one of my sisters.
So here is why I wish for a sister for my daughter. Maybe she will share this special bond with her brother, if she ever has one or maybe she will be our only child, but on my part, I have decided not to deny her the chance of enjoying this valued relationship. In the end, it is not about what she is going to miss if she doesn’t have a sister, it is about the possibility of all that she is going to have if she ever has one. Fingers crossed!