My daughter is nearly 18 months old now and even though in most ways, she is still the adorable baby who was fascinated by her hands, she is also starting to exhibit her inner brat. So far we have witnessed your usual lying down in the middle of the mall accompanied by wailing and howling, screaming fits if she doesn’t get her way, expressing displeasure with toys by throwing them hard enough to break them and my personal favorite: daring me to give her a time-out. Part of the problem is that she isn’t fully verbal yet and I can understand how frustrating it must be when she cannot express that her entire well-being depends on spilling this bottle of lotion on the floor and how unreasonable I am for not letting her do so. Anyways, as she grows up and becomes more and more of a person each day, I can’t help but envy the uncomplicatedness of her life and wonder what goes on in that tiny head of hers. Here is, what I believe to be, the running dialogue in my daughter’s head during an average day:
- Hey Amma (that’s me)! Help me tip over this big toy basket. I can’t wait to play with all these toys, I am so excited I am going to make those squealy noises you love! Oh, this is what’s inside it? Thanks but I will play with the stuff in the kitchen drawer. I am going to pretend I didn’t hear your “clean up, clean up” song.
- I love my Bubu (that’s her father). He bought me this pretty Elsa balloon even though Amma was doing that eye roll thing she always does. I love my balloon, it is…wait! That kid has a Minnie Mouse balloon? No one told me there was a Minnie Mouse balloon! I WANT MY MINNIE BALLOON! I WANT IT NOW!!!
- Last time I ran off without my diaper and jumped on the sofa, you guys laughed and called me cute. Why are you so horrified this time? Does a little poo on my butt change everything? I will never understand how you think.
- Why tell me about my nose if I am not allowed to explore it?
- I AM HUNGRY! Fruit? No way! Cereal? You think I am stupid? I know there is ice cream in the freezer and I am going to cry until you give it to me. HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY!!!
- Why do you keep forcing me to make friends? This kid is not my friend. The cat in the parking lot is my friend. How come you never let me play with it?
- How cool is Elmo!
- I don’t want to dance to this purple dinosaur song! How about that peppy number with inappropriate lyrics you guys were listening to the other day? Play that, I will dance to that.
- Oh you think that baby is cute Amma? Go ahead, pick him up. See if I care. I am not jealous, I am not jealous, I am not jealous. I AM JEALOUS! I LOVE YOU! PICK ME UP! You are mine, don’t ever do that again.
I don’t know if this is how baby brains actually work or if being a full time mom to a toddler is making me lose my mind. Nevertheless, I enjoy assigning words to my daughter’s babbling through out the day and usually get a big smile in return, so (on a more serious note) I believe I am turning into a baby whisperer and always nail what she exactly wants to say. I hope you enjoyed reading!