I was watching my daughter play on her own one day, building a tower out of blocks, her tiny hands using all their force to fix the pieces together, her lips pursed in concentration, oblivious to me and everything else around her. As I pushed back the hair from her forehead, I thought about how her hands aren’t dimpled anymore, she doesn’t fall when she walks now and she doesn’t like to be cuddled for too long. She gets more independent with every passing day. And I asked her, “Will there be a time when I will forget exactly how you are right at this moment?” She just went on playing, but my mind spiraled into the time we have spent together so far, trying to hold on to the moments I would never want to forget and this is what I came up with.
- Will I ever forget how you look when you wake up in the morning? Your normally straight hair appear curly, you smile as soon as the light hits your eyes, you jump up and down with joy in your crib and then ask about your father. When I tell you he is at work, you respond by showing me your empty hands to indicate that he is not around. Then you ask for a book and when I hand it to you, you grab me with one hand. It is time for morning cuddles.
- Will I ever forget the day you went out with your father and came back carrying a pink balloon? How pretty you looked when the color of the balloon reflected on your face and how proud you were of your purchase.
- Will I ever forget the day you first walked across the living room to reach me out of sheer jealousy, when I was carrying a friend’s baby in my arms?
- Will I ever forget your kisses? So many, so wet and for no reason at all.
- Will I ever forget your laughter? So loud, so infectious and at the silliest of reasons.
- Will I ever forget how torn you look when I stop you from doing something you really want to do? But you stop, nevertheless, because you care about my disapproval.
- Will I ever forget the smile you give me when I say yes to something unexpected?
- Will I ever forget the look on your face when you realize that you have made me upset and the antics you use to make me smile?
- Will I ever forget the excitement in your eyes when your father comes home from work? You tell him exactly where and how you got hurt playing that day, you show him around the house and then introduce him to me and the pet.
- Will I ever forget that right now, you prefer me over everything else in the world, irrespective of how interesting you might find it?
- Will I ever forget how much I miss you when you are not home? Even though I know you will be back in an hour. And when I see you, I can’t just stay where I am and neither can you.
And as much as I want to see you independent, will I ever forget the time I was needed in this way?
Thank you for reading.